Saturday, June 11, 2011

The Healer.

I have sinus. So does Hajar. And lately the bout of sneezing, blocked nose and itchy ears have been quite frequent and bothersome. Mom has been talking about this particular healer who can heal your sinus. With lots of success stories. Really impressive. 

Usually, I will never think twice. Never give a hoot. I never believe in all these miraculous healers. Either I am very cocky with science or there’s very little logic to it. Anything sounds too good to be true can’t be true. 

But the issue keeps cropping up every time I sneeze in front of my mom. And she made a mental note the FIRST thing she will do the next time I come back to Kota Bharu is a trip to visit the healer.

So on the first morning we were in KB, I went.  Despite my dearest husband mocking me with his flippant sleepy remark..”U really believe in miracle??” “Oh, it’s a miracle…” Perrghh…pffftt…snort!!

I went partly because that will make mom happy and quite. Partly because I was too lazy to argue. And partly because I couldn’t see any great harm resulting from somebody wiping your face reading some mantra. So I went as an obliging daughter. NOT.

The rule is not to wash your face for a few days. No cream or whatever treatment too. And of course with whatever iota of belief that I have on this healer, I naturally forgotten about the rules, and washed my face in the morning.

Me and Hajar, the patients. Mom and dad, the chaperones. We went to her house, somewhere I can’t pronounce the name. Waited for a while in the house and she came. She told us Hajar is too small. Her treatment will be too potent for her. Much to the grandma’s dismay. I can hear my mom telling herself; Ohh..cannot do if too small”. Another mental note. So instead of the treatment, she will just wash Hajar’s face with the treated water. On hindsight, thank god she is spared from the treatment.

First the healer wiped my face with her bare hand. She wiped and wiped…while mumbling something…and in between, my mind shifted from “u got to be kidding me” to “I can’t believe I’m doing this” to “keep your mind open, woman!!”

Then she started crushing some leaves….which we don’t know what it is…and not supposed to know because it’s a trade secret…and start wiping it on my face.

By this stage, I am supposed to feel some tingling feeling, and something like tiny weeny bugs are supposed to come out from my face. That bugs are the sinus bugs. Alas, all I’m feeling is real itchiness, and within minutes my face is red  and pretty warm and blotches of rashes start coming out. Then she stopped. 

By that time, my face looked like it has been molested by a hungry pervert caterpillar. And they keep saying, hmmm…maybe the thing wants to come out, but it got stuck inside, hence the rashes...aka the failure…maybe because I use too much facial wash and cream and whatever else.

Well..for somebody who  washes her face whenever she remembers....which means definitely not every day..and hardly put any cream on her face, that sounds like a load of bullshit. But I decided to zip my mouth and just smiled, coz I was cursing myself silly for agreeing to do the whole thing. I have ridicule myself enough. So won’t rub any more salt into it.  All I asked was a glass of water, and I quickly gobbled my antihistamine right away and keep my silence.

And for screwing up my face, and 2 packets of treated water as a follow up treatment, I paid her $20. And we left.

Mom and dad got quite worried with my allergic reactions.  But they believe the healer’s explanation on why it doesn’t work on me. Whole heartedly. No doubt. Too much face cream. Yeah…right. And they keep checking on me a few minutes apart.

Does my swollen face dampen their belief on the healer?? Hmmm…..definitely not. On the way home, we stopped by the market and they went out to buy some fruits and stuffs while me and my swollen face and Hajar remained  in the car. 

During that short period in the market, mom came back and told me about her conversation with a lady in the market. The lady who claimed she too can heal sinus. With a different method. And my mom subtly trying to hint to me ”U know, maybeeee….” “Yeah mom…over my dead body”

The first thing I did when I reached home is gobbled another dose of antihistamine. Then I have to bear with all the kiddos’ remarks. And the hubby’s remarks. “Ummi, ur face look like momok’s face. “Ummi, what did u do???” “Hmmmm ummi, so this healer…tell me about her” “Hmmm…u the pharmacist??? Can’t believe u did this” “Are you sure it’s not black magic ummi? I mean like seriously??” Hmmmmm…hmmm…it goes on and on till I decided to abuse my power ”Shut up. Any more comment, I will minus 2 points”.  And they stopped.

To be honest, the fact that I am writing this already make me feel dayyymmmmnnnn stupid. Errrggghhhhh!! Note to self; Learn your lesson. Next time, trust your bloody instinct woman!!!!

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