Friday, September 28, 2012

Mom martyr. NOT.

Being a mom is HARD. And only a mom can understand this. It doesn't matter whether u r working or not. It's just equally hard.

I had a bad day yesterday. Worked my ass off in the lab and messed up.
My whole week's work was wasted. Need to start from scratch again. Was more pissed with myself for not going through the protocol properly. Messing up a week's worth of hard work because u misunderstood the instruction makes u feel really shitty.

Having a bad day at work is usually tolerable for me. I am not the type of mom who strive for martyrdom. Or perfection. So usually it's OK with me. But a bad day + messy house because u r running behind with your chores + kids endlessly bickering and screaming and yapping over petty things + a homeschooling kid that drive u up the wall with her antics =  a really crabby mom. Who can snap anytime.

So I almost snap yesterday. Probably I already did. So today, I was contemplating...should I continue slogging myself in the lab?? Or take a complete break and chill??

The truth is I am so behind with my work I cannot afford to take any break. And I have learned taking a break from work to chill and recuperate is more of a denial to me. It's just an excuse for me to avoid work. The backlog is the source of my stress. So I need to deal with it. But I know I need a time off. Coz I can't think straight anymore.

So I did what I need to do. For my sanity.

I told Emily to stay home for a while and I headed to Thai Odyssey to get my massage.

Pic is from here.
On the way to Empire, Mr O called me;
Mr O; I thought u just had one early of the month??
Me; Yes. That's 3 weeks ago. And I need it again.
Dude, it ain't Prada or Chanel. Or expensive therapy. I don't need fancy spa treatment to make me feels better. A 60 minute good massage will do. It makes my body 5 kg lighter. And feels damn good.

Next, a treat for myself.
I settled for coffee, scrumptious vegetable cheese scone, and great music. Just me alone. Sipping the coffee while my mind drifted away.

Then I picked up Emily from home and headed to Monash. Did some work.
Feels really great. To at least get some work done.

More errands to do. Went off to pick up Medina from the kindy. Send off Emily to her class. Stopped by the bookshop to collect my book. And somebody found a book she like.
Another valid excuse for me to buy book. Great bargain. Books make me happy ;-)

Tea with Little Missy.
Another dose of coffee for me. With some gelato and breads.

After tea, more errands. Went to the shop next door to stock up our fruits. Picked up Emily from class. OK, am done for the day.

Reached home around 7pm. Mr O was cooking dinner. And Luqman cleaned the toilet. Aaahhhh...nice. Really niceeee. So should I snap more often?? :P

It's a productive day. And I feel really great.

Sometimes, all u need is a little time off. Alone. It doesn't have to be expensive and extravagant. Simple things can make us happy too. Don't push yourself too hard. Don't ignore the red flags. Don't be a martyr. Don't forget your family is a blessing to you. We are all blessed with a beautiful happy family. Sometimes we forget. Sometimes we get too overwhelmed with petty things and get our perspective skewed. Sometimes, we just need to remind ourselves.
If mommy ain't happy, nobody is happy. Take care mommies ;-)

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